Preparing Coping Strategies in Advance

So much of my internal reward system is caught up with food and eating. Bad day? Hit the pub for a feel-better beer. Deserve a treat to celebrate Friday night? Have a pizza or takeaway. Can’t be bothered to cook? Order in something.  I need to break the habit, and swap out these food and drink rewards for something else, to remind myself that there are other things in life than food.

I thought it would be useful to have a plan in place when these non-hunger related triggers hit: 

Bad Day Beer – what this serves to do is allow me to go to the pub and chat/moan/cry to my boyfriend. There is no reason why we can’t have a chat doing something else – such as walking around the park with the dog. It is the 1 to 1 time I crave, not necessarily the beer. It also takes my mind off the situation – so I could watch something good on TV instead – anything so that I don’t have to think about whatever bad thing has happened at work.

Comfort Food – what this gives me is a food-cuddle. I feel safe and reassured, and like I am indulging and it’s OK. I could substitute this for going to bed guilt-free and hiding under my duvet.

 

Treat – when I have the devil in me, it is almost like I want to sabotage myself. I enjoy the feeling of being dangerous and doing something reckless and the gratification element. But it is a fairly short term thing. I could instead take myself into town and have my nails done. This is still dangerous – I can’t afford it! But it is gratifying, and it doesn’t involve food. I could also go and buy a magazine – again, expensive and gratuitous, but enjoyable. Or a trip to the spa at the local leisure centre – I always really enjoy the relaxation. Or the garden centre, to buy something pretty, or a houseplant (I have a serious houseplant fetish). I will swap these out next time.

Feast with Family –so often, food is used as a reason to make social events count. Families and friends meet to break bread, eat drink and be merry. If you take food out of the picture, what are you meeting up for exactly? I don’t intend to miss out on spending time with my lovely family, but there are other things we can do. I can just pop over for a cup of tea; to help them with their gardening; meet at the coffee shop for a (black) coffee; just go around there to say hello. If it comes to it and I have to eat lunch with them, I can take a soup (this is a common simple weekend lunch in my family) and eat it with them while they eat theirs. Again, it’s not forever. It’s just for a month (the most extreme SS bit).

Boredom – I know I eat because I am bored stiff sometimes. Funnily enough, this is usually during the working week – sometimes at weekends whole days go by without my even thinking about lunch. I just need to keep busy, and this will make me feel better about being in the house too. Ironing, quilting, my uni work (this is going to take up a LOT of time!) and sorting out my garden, all things I can do to keep busy. And when I just want to sit down, I can always suck my thumb! Oral gratification and comfort at the same time –I knew there was a reason I didn’t give it up, even if I do look like a berk!

So there is plenty I can do.

 

Just one more word with myself, to get through the hard times ahead. Here is a message from Now Bonnie to Future Bonnie:

I will feel horrible, it will be sh*tsville and I will feel so sad for myself this week. Hold on! Please give a full week a try! Please don’t let you down, please stay strong even when you feel like giving up, and try some of the above instead when you need a boost. You are going to forget the reasons above, and lose sight of them. But I’ve got you, I’ve got this, and I am telling you, you will be SO glad you did, even if you couldn't see it at the time. 

So I am doing the Cambridge Weight Plan

There has been a change of tack.

It might seem particularly un-healthy effectively giving up food and replacing it with shakes for a few weeks. But I am at my wits end - basically, I need a break from food.

I thought I would spend some time thinking about why I am doing this, so that during the tough times, I can read back and remind myself.

Because I know this is going to be TOUGH. Day 2 and 3 especially, when the body is pre-ketosis and therefore, HUNGRY. It is almost like a mental challenge I have to overcome. I know from those that have gone before me, that it will get better this week and that eventually, I will feel great.

Just keeping in my mind that first weigh-in next Monday – if can get into the single figures within the 11 stones, I would be so chuffed. It’s been months and despite all of my efforts – Slimming World; Weight Watchers; running; high protein – I just couldn’t do it. Being in the 12 stones (I am 12st1) is so demoralising  - a quick sprint down to a more comfortable weight, where I can wear my nice clothes again, would give me such a boost. Then I can start exercising again and toning up.

 So here are my reasons:

 

1.       I do not want to be a fat bride one day (this may happen soon, or it may not) – or to be unable to try on wedding dress samples. My whole life I have looked forward to this and I will be letting myself down in the worst way possible if I end up being a fat bride. I deserve to enjoy the whole process, and not be kicking myself because I couldn’t get my act together. That would be unbelievably painful. No matter how hard it gets!

 

2.       My confidence is suffering – I just don’t feel sexy any more. I feel like a sexless blob – old before my time and just not the attractive person I used to be. This is wrong – I am only 33! I want to feel nice in underwear again. There is no reason why I can’t get into those lovely size 10 bra and knicker sets.

 

3.       Nice Clothes – I have lots! All of those lovely size 12 things in a case under the bed – my black Chanel style dress, grey dress, pencil skirt, nice tops – not to mention being able to buy some nice things too. I want to wear cigarette pants, and a nice roll neck in winter a-la Taylor Swift. I want to be able to wear a nice dress to the Christmas party and feel attractive in it! I want to be able to pull off the preppy jacket and skinny jeans look!

 

4.       Health – maybe it’s wrong that health is low down on the list. I don’t think this is because I don’t care about being healthy – I think it is a symptom of the fact that I don’t feel like this diet is exactly ‘healthy’ – and in fact the lack of fresh food is going to be tough for me. I recon when I eat healthily – avocados, nuts and oily fish,  I can eat enough to maintain, but not to lose. This is a diet to quickly shed the weight, so that I can start again and reset the system eating healthily.

 

5.       Alcohol – Going teetotal is something I have been toying with for a while. This provides the perfect excuse. It will be an interesting experiment. Abstinence is easier than moderation and it is the alcohol lately that has thrown the food off course for me. All too often a pint turns into three pints and three bags of crisps, and then we cave and order a big pub meal instead of going home to cook. This gives me a clear period to abstain, and not be made to feel guilty about it.  

 

6.       Time – I have a lot on my plate at the moment, with Uni and work and life in general. Thinking about food, cooking and washing up is so time consuming – this diet will buy me precious time, which I can put to good use. Also, I am a bit bored of thinking about food. I have been in all sorts of a rut. I just need a break. And I feel like abstinence is actually easier than trying to eat the right food, which has just failed recently. So I have cleared out the fridge and cupboard, locked it all away and in its place have my Cambridge products.

 

7.       My Brothers Wedding –I need to wear a nice dress and feel sophisticated at this big family wedding, not like the ugly sister. I will look forward to it much more if I feel ready.

 

Social events are obviously going to be tough. Already, today I have had to cancel a 3 course marketing lunch. I have cancelled a Beer and Sausage festival at the weekend, and a boozy night with a friend. Basically, it is just tough luck – if anything, I feel empowered to just say ‘no thanks’ to all of these things. It gives me a reason (I am not spending my hard earned cash for nothing!) and I feel good about it.

This plan (the more extreme form) won’t last forever - three months tops. I just need to take this time to do myself a favour and commit 100% for this brief period in my life, to sort myself out. There is no point doing it half-heartedly.

Just like ripping off a plaster, I need to get my head down and just get on with it. There are worse things than not eating out for a few months.

 

It will be hard, I will feel very sorry for myself. When this happens, I will curl up on the sofa under a duvet, or in bed and read, and just weather the storm.  That is what I need to hold on to – weathering the storm.

So, without further ado, I’m doing it!