Preparing Coping Strategies in Advance

So much of my internal reward system is caught up with food and eating. Bad day? Hit the pub for a feel-better beer. Deserve a treat to celebrate Friday night? Have a pizza or takeaway. Can’t be bothered to cook? Order in something.  I need to break the habit, and swap out these food and drink rewards for something else, to remind myself that there are other things in life than food.

I thought it would be useful to have a plan in place when these non-hunger related triggers hit: 

Bad Day Beer – what this serves to do is allow me to go to the pub and chat/moan/cry to my boyfriend. There is no reason why we can’t have a chat doing something else – such as walking around the park with the dog. It is the 1 to 1 time I crave, not necessarily the beer. It also takes my mind off the situation – so I could watch something good on TV instead – anything so that I don’t have to think about whatever bad thing has happened at work.

Comfort Food – what this gives me is a food-cuddle. I feel safe and reassured, and like I am indulging and it’s OK. I could substitute this for going to bed guilt-free and hiding under my duvet.

 

Treat – when I have the devil in me, it is almost like I want to sabotage myself. I enjoy the feeling of being dangerous and doing something reckless and the gratification element. But it is a fairly short term thing. I could instead take myself into town and have my nails done. This is still dangerous – I can’t afford it! But it is gratifying, and it doesn’t involve food. I could also go and buy a magazine – again, expensive and gratuitous, but enjoyable. Or a trip to the spa at the local leisure centre – I always really enjoy the relaxation. Or the garden centre, to buy something pretty, or a houseplant (I have a serious houseplant fetish). I will swap these out next time.

Feast with Family –so often, food is used as a reason to make social events count. Families and friends meet to break bread, eat drink and be merry. If you take food out of the picture, what are you meeting up for exactly? I don’t intend to miss out on spending time with my lovely family, but there are other things we can do. I can just pop over for a cup of tea; to help them with their gardening; meet at the coffee shop for a (black) coffee; just go around there to say hello. If it comes to it and I have to eat lunch with them, I can take a soup (this is a common simple weekend lunch in my family) and eat it with them while they eat theirs. Again, it’s not forever. It’s just for a month (the most extreme SS bit).

Boredom – I know I eat because I am bored stiff sometimes. Funnily enough, this is usually during the working week – sometimes at weekends whole days go by without my even thinking about lunch. I just need to keep busy, and this will make me feel better about being in the house too. Ironing, quilting, my uni work (this is going to take up a LOT of time!) and sorting out my garden, all things I can do to keep busy. And when I just want to sit down, I can always suck my thumb! Oral gratification and comfort at the same time –I knew there was a reason I didn’t give it up, even if I do look like a berk!

So there is plenty I can do.

 

Just one more word with myself, to get through the hard times ahead. Here is a message from Now Bonnie to Future Bonnie:

I will feel horrible, it will be sh*tsville and I will feel so sad for myself this week. Hold on! Please give a full week a try! Please don’t let you down, please stay strong even when you feel like giving up, and try some of the above instead when you need a boost. You are going to forget the reasons above, and lose sight of them. But I’ve got you, I’ve got this, and I am telling you, you will be SO glad you did, even if you couldn't see it at the time.